Metavalent Stigmergy

How New Default Consensus Realities Instantiate

Bottled Bomb Water Lockdown

It’s in the water. And the ketchup packets that go with your McDonald’s fries that you JUST GOT, RIGHT THERE IN THE AIRPORT. And the Starbucks cup that you are DRINKING FROM … yeah, that might be a bomb, too.

And your cell phone. And your laptop. And your CAR KEY fobs. A news commentator just said it all, “this is because these are things that MIGHT have been used had the plot not been foiled.”

Um, but the plot WAS foiled.

When will GUTLESS AMERICANS stop complying with this increasingly assertive Police State?

Where is the rational civil disobedience?

Just ask General Jack.

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk… ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children’s ice cream.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.

General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I… no, no. I don’t, Jack.

General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works (IMDb).

It doesn’t matter to today’s lockdown that the actual threatening liquids are of KNOWN particular colors, consistencies, and quantities.

It’s likely that because the wages paid to TSA agents only attract workers of a particular intellectual ability, ALL LIQUIDS must be stopped. That’s right, ma’am, your $300.00 Waterford crystal 0.025 oz. bottle of froo-froo juice is now A THREAT TO INTERNATIONAL SAFETY.

Precautions make sense. However, the intellectual assymptote of TSA workers is a serious common sense bottleneck in the system. Any human being with a modicum of common sense could quickly and ACCURATELY discern between a 68 y.o. lady’s 10ml perfume bottle and a 43 y.o. BALD ARAB GUY’S 500ml bottle of Man Hair Spray; but not the average TSA worker.

I’m sure that I could be wrong, here, but the odds of bomb juice smelling like extract of lilac or jasmine juice seem pretty damned slim.

Oh, but that kind of intelligent discrimination would be just that … DISCRIMINATION! PROFILING! Oh no, we can’t have THAT. Not in the United States where all are created equal and therefore must be equally lined up against the wall.

No, no, there is no room for DISCERNMENT in the land of equality. People will be treated equally STUPIDLY in all cases; anything less would be un-American.

So, I’m sorry ma’am, but that SEALED bottle of CLEAR MOUNTAIN SPRING WATER is a TERRORIST THREAT to civilization.

“We HOPE that these measures, which are being kept under review by the government, will need to be in place for a limited period only,” the statement said.

We hope? We can only hope that the THREAT of fluoridated water is held in check by the geniuses at DHS, too.

Sadly, this probably is the least disruptive way to operate such a system on such a vast scale. I’m not oblivious to the TIME it would take to examine all these personal items versus just having people cram them into checked baggage. I think that my biggest issue really comes down to what that TV news commentator said. In short, these measures are being taken because of what MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED, rather than as a preventative measure to any real domestic risk. That is, unless DHS is not telling us the whole story.

Your thoughts?

Written on August 10, 2006