How Benevolent Are You?

As Spidey taught us, “With great arrogance, comes great condescention.” Or maybe that’s just the way I remember it. Do you dare question MY powers of recollection!?

Many of us who float among the uppermost echelons of this rarified air, find that acts of Benevolence – often quite sincere, actually – can cover for a multitude of sins; or at least help us to feel a little better about ourselves and hedge against moments of painfully accute self-awareness, when for just a fleeting instance, we truly realize how annoying we are to the average good-natured human.

But nevermind that … we can truly bask in our own Benevolent Glory whenever we patiently try to explain the blaTANTly obvious to the obviously blaTENTly clueless. If you didn’t track with the spelling there and actually don’t know which is correct, well, that’s okay, we accept you as you are. After all, it’s probably not entirely stupid people’s fault that they are so stupid. I mean, EVERYONE knows that all poor people are poor mostly due to individual and personal laziness, but probably also bad nature and or nurture, too. Poor things. We should be nice to them, anyway.

And just because so-called impartial observers or friends claim that we’re only further convincing the lowly, yet favored object of our magnificent beneficence of our own overbearing and bloated haughtiness, well, that doesn’t mean it’s true. After all, they too are only our friends due to gracious favor extended toward them, so they aren’t all that impartial after all, right? But we are patient with them, as well.

So, today I ask myself and my readers, How Benevolent Are You in your everday life? One measure is by answering this question, as honestly as possible. Remember, it’s completely anonymous and you only hurt YOU if you are not truthful.

What percent of your life do YOU spend explaining the blatantly obvious to the obviously blatently clueless?
	99.999% - Maligned Pariah. (Jim Cramer, Steven Colbert)
	89.999% - Misunderstood Genius. (Ben Bernanke, John Stewart)
	59.999% - Pillar of Common Sense. (Lou Dobbs, Carlos Mencia)
	39.999% - Average Joe. (Anderson Cooper, Chris Rock)
	19.999% - Kood U Reepeet th' Qweshtun? (Star Jones, Larry the Cable Guy)
	-0.009% - Shiny Happy People Holding Hands. (G.W. Bush, Pat Robertson)
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